Tim Hortons Sued Over Unsafe Toilet

I figured this was perfect for my blog and let you all hear a ridiculous story. In Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, a man is suing the popular coffee chain, Tim Hortons, after falling off one of their toilets. The man claims to have serious injuries from the 1ft. fall off the crapper, including a fractured hip. Apparently the man is also claiming the Tim Hortons neglected to tell him the toilet was unsafe to use and its present condition.

Where do I begin? Well lets start with who falls off a toilet!? There is not even 1ft distance from the seat to the floor, how could anyone fall hard enough to fracture their hip? This just doesn't make much sense to me. Personally I think the man should drop the lawsuit (he isn't going to win) and secondly, your embarrassing yourself in front of an entire nation. Lets just hope he wiped before he hit the ground otherwise he'd have a real mess on his hands...literally.

This story is so ridiculous I have to award it the Golden Plunger Award. Way to go Gerbrand Dene!

I Told You So...

That's right! The latest celebrity to come walking out of that big gay closet is Ricky Martin. He announced online the other day that he was "...a fortunate homosexual man.". For years his sexual orientation has been a question and a question that he has left unanswered until now. That is quite unfortunate for many women now. Why? Because when you see pictures like the following, it's just not going to have the sexy to it. Why? Because in the back of your mind, you know he's looking at your husband and not you. For now I can say to everyone... I told you so.

Penis Festival

We all know some pretty bizarre stuff goes on over in Japan, so this shouldn't come to a surprise to you. It's that time of year when Japan hosts Kanamara Matsuri...aka Festival of the Penis! Every spring they hold the festival to celebrate everything man-junk. The festival includes parades, floats, costumes, foods, and penis shaped candies for everyone to suck on in hopes for marriage, fertility, easy births, or if your a prostitute...protection from STDs.

James / McGee Scandal

Unless you have been in a closet the last week or dead then you probably heard of the Jesse James and Michelle McGee scandal. It has been reported that during a period of Jesse James' and Sandra Bullock's relationship, Jesse had slept with McGee. But who is reporting this? Why, its Michelle McGee herself that has come forward and proclaiming that her and Jesse had a 11-month long affair together. What a coincidence because Sandra Bullock just won her best actress award for her role in The Blindside and her career couldn't be spiraling any higher.  Just leave it to a trashy tattoo bitch to ruin your life right when everything seems perfect.

As of now there are rumors that Sandra is seeking out a divorce lawyer. I don't blame her, if your going to sleep with a Nazi your going to pay the price.

Cheers!

It's that time again. When you drink till you fall off your tuff and then drink a little more. Happy St.Patty's Day to you all.

Cheers!

The Giant Itouch

You may or may not have heard that Apple is releasing a new piece of technology to the word, the Ipad. The Ipad is a mobile device .5 inches thin, with 9.7 inch display. It will be available in 16GB, 32GB and 64GB. Sounding familiar? Probably because you could just say that the Ipad is just one giant Ipod. It has the wifi and Bluetooth capabilities just like the Itouch and basically from checking your e-mail to playing music/videos, all the applications are the same. There still is no flash, it doesn't play DVDs, there is no camera and over priced. The one difference is...it's bigger. Personally if you have a macbook and an Iphone/Itouch I think you'll just great without the Ipad. Now if they made the Ipad to operate more as a notebook + Itouch combined, then they would have me interested. I'd like to hear your opinion. 

For more information on the Ipad visit Apple. 

Chuck Norris' Toilet Paper

Chuck Norris' Toilet Paper

Sent By: Troy of Toronto, ON

Bad Drivers

Yes, I am going to vent over the ridiculous drivers that are out there. Now I grew up in a small town and the closest city was about 30 minuets away and it was only a city with around 110,000 people...which isn't that big of a city. So, a lot of the driving was either highway or country roads. Now that I have moved and am living in a larger city I have noticed a huge difference in the drivers.

1. No Patience- City drivers have no patience. I can't stand it. I understand that you have to travel from one end to the city to the other and its going to probably take 45min just to go 10km, but traffic is traffic. Your not going to get there any faster by speeding and swerving in and out of vehicles because nine times out of ten I'm going to end up at the same red light right behind you. Therefore you haven't really gotten ahead very far,now have you?

2. No Turn Signal- Probably the number one thing that annoys me most. How the hell do I know that you want to turn right or left? It's one of the best ways to cause accidents. Another thing I really hate is when a car in front hits the brakes to turn before they throw on their signal to warn you. The whole point of the signal is to let someone know "Hey, I'm turning and I'm probably going to be slowing down".

3. Dead Stoppers- One thing I noticed, even at home are the dead stoppers. When approaching a stop sign or a red light they do not slow their speed down ahead of time and decided it would be best to just slam on the brakes the last minute. I hate it when I'm the car behind them or the car driving by crossing my fingers they are going to run that sign and t-bone me. You people do know that isn't good for your brakes...do you?

4. Tailgaters- I don't mean the ones in the parking lot before a football game, I'm talking about the idiots that clearly want to drive fast or pass, but decide it's better to ride your ass. Why? I have no idea. Riding my ass is not going to make me go any faster, if anything I'll slow my speed down to piss you off so maybe you'll BACK the *&@% OFF!

5. Parking Lot Speedsters- I just don't get it. It's a parking lot and there are pedestrians, and cars that start backing out anywhere. I don't get why anyone thinks that it's alright to speed through/around parking lots. Slow down! I know other drivers and pedestrians would appreciate it. 

Well... I think that is enough venting for now. Feel free to do some venting about the stupid drivers out there in the comments.

Tiger Woods Mistress Pageant

Well I don't know about the rest of you out there, but I'm pretty sick of hearing about Tiger Woods and how many women he put himself into, and all the jokes that everyone has come up with blah blah blah. Well! The other day Howard Stern hosted a beauty pageant for some of Tiger's mistresses and it was probably the best thing that has ever come out of the scandal. Jamie Jungers was the winner of the pageant and apparently took home $75,000 cash. Listeners also learned about Tiger's endowments and turn ons (tips for future mistresses that were listening)I guess that spell of jungle fever Jamie had paid off.

*Also send in photos, stories or any kind of shit that you want to share. Whatever you submit might get the Golden Plunger Award of the day. Golden Plunger goes to the funniest shit e-mailed in or found on the web.
stereo.afterglow@ymail.com

First Blog

Greetings,
Welcome to The Crapper blog. The blog about nothing but shit. I will be posting random and comical pictures, stories, events from anywhere at anytime to poke fun at the hilarity and the stupidity that circulates this earth.

One Corey down, one to go...